B00Mz .

Saturday, May 12, 2012 ♥

Title:
Time:5:52 AM

Hellows :3

So, it's almost coming to the end of MYE. Like finally. Okay, i admit it wasnt THAT long, but still it was kinda torturous having to do intensives like everyday. But it's okay i guess since it's coming to an end soon ^^. Hehe. Can't say that i did pretty awesome for all my subjects, especially chemistry. STUPID CALCULATOR FAILED ME AND DIED DAFUQ. Had to do calculations on my own. Surprisingly i managed to do some but overall, higher chance imma fail this paper. Damn.

Well it's not that bad though. Actually am pretty satisfied with both maths cos i managed to do most of the questions. Yay! Not sure how i'll fair, but i tried hard so i should just hope for the best B). Physics paper next monday. Gotta score to buck up my L1R5. Jiayou!

Anyway, got caught for my skirt again yesterday during maths paper 1. Annoying much. It's good enough my skirt isn't half the thigh, still wanna make it like extreme case. Then those with major case tak kene caught. Pandai. Haish, stupid sia. Besides, with results who the fuck gives a shit about the standards of grooming? Stupid or whut ._.
Nevermind. Just wear curtain to school. Look stupid in public, not like the school cares. :)

And yup. Lately, been missing people alot. Haish ): i miss those lovely times last year, and in 2010. It just sucks how everything good comes to an end, and now my life is just really... different. Still not used to things even though it's like May. just hoping with time, things will be okay. Can't wait to grow up i guess, get education over and done with so i cann finally live and enjoy life to the fullest :) heh ^^

Okay, guess that's all for now. Hehe byebye! :) xx

`ASYIQIN

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Sunday, May 6, 2012 ♥

Title:
Time:9:55 PM

Never thought i had to go through so much pain again. I mean, i'm trying. It's still not good enough? I feel so.. horrible.I hate myself. I hate myself for not being able to defend myself and make myself happy. I hate myself for hurting myself this way. I hate myself for not being able to be good enough for anyone. I hate myself for failing to help others.The more i love, the more lonely i get. I want to give everyone everything. I cannot say no. People take advantage, it's only human nature.Sometimes, i just wish to sit in a corner and hide myself from everyone while i cry. It hurts so much, but what can i do? I cannot do anything. I cannot help myself. I'm helpless and i dont know what to do.It hurts so much. Why? Sometimes i just wish tuhan could take my life away so i can leave peacefully in my sleep, leaving all my problems here and leaving me to go to my happy place. But no. If then, my family would suffer. That cannot happen. I want them happy.I just dont know what to do. The pain inside is so much. I keep thinking that things will be better, but it just doesnt. In fact, things get worse.
" It's best if you leave me alone. " Maybe they're right. At least if i am alone, i wouldnt be hurt anymore. I will live happily with myself. Living in the delusion that i can be happy alone. But what will happen then? :\

Idk. i just need a hug. Someone to hug me and tell me that things are going to be okay. hais.

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♥

Title:
Time:8:47 PM

IT'S BEEN SO LONG SINCE I'VE BLOGGED. DEARGOD.

So, i've decided to begin blogging again as i really feel guilty leaving my blog to just.. well rot. Lol. :3 also, since i have free time now, why not? (: not sure if im gonna be so active though.

Anyway, it's almost coming to the end of another semester in ytss! Time flew so quickly! It felt as though it was just ytd i just entered sec one. Cliche but true (: yesyesyes! My life in ytss so far has been uber awesome. Hehe!

I realize that it's been almost a year since i've updated ): well basically 2011 was pretty awesome :D hehe. Made new friends i guess and it's been really fun hanging out with that batch of sec fours. Miss them alot since they've graduated, and it's kinda hard getting over the feeling. But it's alright, i'm sure better things will come eventually. maybe nt now, but eventually yeah. (: -positivity-

Yups. So i'm officially sec three now and so far, it's been super hard. Gosh, the workload is super heavy. Surprised i managed to make it through. Well, i owe it to my efforts before the school year started and my kak angkat for helping me out! Thankgod, if not i'm pretty sure i'll be screwed by now. So yeah, did a lil work before school started thus it's easier to cope now. Been consistent and didnt procrastinate, thus it really helped me alot :) MYE is here, thus we'll see how my efforts paid me off (:

And since i'm in sec three, yes, it means im in a new class! 3e6, flyest class among the sec threees :3 ! heh. We bonded alot through the sec three camp with our flyness and ahleleness ^^ and yup, camp was AWESOME! Gonna miss my class alot after we graduate, but for now im just gonna cherish the moments i have with them (: - feeling so fly like a 3/6 -

So... hmm i guess that's pretty much it? (: Well, my life isnt really that interesting now due to exams and such. But hopefully maybe after all this, my life would be more fun? heh. xx

<33,
` ASYIQIN.

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